I’m better off
What is discarded and treated as criminal if spoken.
I was loved never was it showed out in the open
I was always less in your eyes.
To know is to love and I hear the deceit when you lie.
How do you accept me and then turn to judge me.
I’d rather be alone than have you tell me that you love me.
Your beauty is displayed on the surface.
Deep down inside you there is nothing but ugly.
Disgust is what is felt when you cut me then hug me.
Demean, belittle, mentally and emotionally mistreat me.
I’m tired of being humiliated and shamed.
I’ve already left there’s no need for threats and I don’t care if you leave me.
I know that you think you are above blame.
My love for you was unconditional, and disdain it became.
So where do we go after every tear.
Do I continue to be gripped by the constant fear.
One too many times you said that I am no longer wanted here.
So I’ll do what I should have done.
Down into the depths of hell I once upon a time would have followed you.
I blamed you but it was I that had no follow through.
It would be easier if I you spoke your truth and said that you hate me.
Then there would not be a misunderstanding or a way to complicate things.
Either way I think it’s time to make a change.
Even though it fills me with drowning terror I mustn’t be afraid.
I see the error in the decisions I made.
I don’t know why I return after every wound that you inflict.
Call it love, call it weak, I call it sick.
I have lost the admiration now nothing but tired resignation and a mountain of righteous indignation.
Your words do damage of which I haven’t recovered.
Such is life and love hurts.
Love at least is something that to you is lost.
I’m sad today and I’m better off.
– Jose Serrano