I once thought and believed.
That from all of my pain I’d be given reprieve.
Not likely, not now, not ever I see.
Will my soul know relief.
Though it stings and then burns as I breathe.
The real pain lives inside where it’s deep.
I’ll never show, you’ll never know that it’s my insides that bleed.
So many things that I want but it’s you that I need.
While you care only for the things that are cold to the touch.
You know you are wanted because you been told just as much.
For comfort you look for the what’s lifeless.
Over look the fact that you have that which is priceless.
In my head I can hardly conceive it.
I gave my laughs, my smiles, my tears and my dreams.
To someone who neglects them, attacks and demeans them.
You’re ugly beneath all the beauty it seems.
As surely as the nights in darkness I wept
As well as all the bitter tears my eyes shed
Or the trail of blood that I bled.
All the quiet nights next to you when nothing was said.
I remembered the promises that nobody kept.
One night in my heart courage crept.
Slowly but surely I took a deep breath.
Into the unknown away from you I took my first step.
I want you to know that I don’t live in regret.
You are someone that I’ll never forget.
Now I know that a heart that seeks redemption.
Is one that needs constant attention.
All along I should have been well.
Meaning a deep love and understanding of self.
The fact that it’s just me or are we all bound to its spell.
Love redeems and at times causes us the shame that is felt but not seen.